Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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