Fuck appropriateness.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
