the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
