I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
