so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
