Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
