her vagine was all disorganized.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
