READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
