k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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