last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
