I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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