wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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