My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
