You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
