States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
