Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
