Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
