it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
