Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
