Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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