Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
