okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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