The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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