I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
