I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
