he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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