I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
