how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
