id be glad to
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
