she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
