i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
