Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
