So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
