these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
