Me too!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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