I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
