sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
