Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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