So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
