I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
