Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
