I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
