Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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