Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
