Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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