everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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