well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
