Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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