Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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