we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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