I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
