Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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