idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
