i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
